Dinosaur Mom Chronicles

This post is inspired by Toure’s Time Magazine post, “How To Talk To Young Black Boys About Travvon Martin.”

1. It is possible that you are behaving in a racist* manner without consciously intending to do so. Lots of (white) people will tell you that Travvon Martin wasn’t shot for being black in the wrong place at the wrong time but for seeming threatening to a dude with a vigilante complex and a gun. Lots of (white) people will tell you that racism isn’t a problem in this day and age, too. Being white doesn’t automatically make you one of them, but lots of people of color will assume that you are. If you are, ask yourself why. If we’re all equally endowed by our creator with innate intelligence and moral sense, how is it possible that that there is such a radical cleavage persists between white people and black people  in how we perceive racism in our society?

* Racism is about one ethnic group unilaterally imposing its will on another ethnic group for political, cultural or economic gain. There’s no such thing as reverse racism any more than “irregardless” is a valid word in English. Members of an historically oppressed ethnic group may be biased against members of the historically oppresssive ethnic group, but it’s only Racism if your ethnic group has the political, economic, and cultural power neccessary to succeed at imposing its will on other ethnic groups.

2. If you encounter a situation where someone accuses you of racism, you need to keep a sense of proportion. Being accused of being a racist is unpleasant but not deadly. Being accused of racism may have social and/or economic consequences for you. It may be unfair. But it is highly, highly unlikely to kill you or cause you physical harm. Treat it the way you should any other accusation – ask yourself if it’s true. Ask yourself why someone might believe it to be true. Recall that far more people have been injured or killed as victims of genocide, enslavement, and lynching than as victims of disagreeable accusations.

3. You may not be a racist. Heck, let’s say you’re not a racist. You probably never owned any slaves or set out to deny anyone their constitutional freedoms on the basis of race. But just by being white, you enjoy the benefit of the doubt. That is, unless you’re behaving in an overtly threatening manner, you have a reasonable expectation that you will not be generally perceived as a threat. This is called white privilege and, whether you asked for it or not, you’re getting a break in the world because of it. You can wish all you want for a color-blind society – but as long as people do perceive differences in color and ethnicity in this world of ours, race will be a factor in people’s perceptions of each other.

4. If you don’t want to be called a racist, start by acknowledging that race is a factor in people’s perceptions of each other. Challenge your own perceptions of the black people you meet. Ask other white people about the basis for their perceptions of black people if they express opinions. Make eye contact with black people. Ask your mom why she’s locking the car doors when she sees a black teenager. If you are clear with yourself about your own motivations and biases, they will shine through in your behavior and make you less vulnerable to accusations of racism.

5. If you don’t want to be accused of racism, be sensitive to how people say that they want to be addressed, described, and treated. I’m not saying you can’t laugh at the dialogue in “Blazing Saddles” or Key and Peele’s ”Magical Negro” sketch. I am saying that you should refrain from imitating or reciting that dialogue aloud in polite company. Do you really need to share your feelings about the N-word with your black colleague? I am not saying you can’t be fascinated by your classmate’s afro. I am saying that you should refrain from touching it without permission and that, moreover, you should really think twice about asking to touch it in the first place. If you saw a white dude with really interesting hair, would you ask him if you could touch his hair?

6. If you perceive a black person as threatening, think about why. Imagine how you would react to a white person of similar appearance. What basis does your fear have in reality? White people are most likely to be threatened or harmed by other white people, so what would a white person have to do to scare you? If you’re still feeling threatened after that process of self-examination, then do whatever you would do to protect yourself from an equally threatening white person. No more and no less.

7. What if the threatening black person is in a position of authority over you? Proceed as if the threatening authority figure in question were white. Recognize that your odds of becoming a victim of violence at the hands of a black police officer are far lower than the odds that a black dude your age will become a victim of violence by a white police officer.

8. Never forget: racism will persist as long as white people don’t acknowledge their role in perpetrating it. When you honestly confront your own assumptions and educate yourself about the reality black kids live with, you are being part of the solution. When you take refuge in the idea of a hypothetical color-blind society, you are being part of the problem.